Some of us are "should-ing" all over ourselves, and it is drowning us!

A beautiful friend and I finally met up recently. Looking over our text messages, it’s been a few months since we have been able to make and stick to a plan to meet. Work, family crises, home responsibilities…you know, LIFE would get in the way. As we caught up on each other’s lives, I was struck by a common sentiment that I’ve been hearing lately— “I wish I had time for that…”

I love to get lost in a good book. I’m usually reading one or two at a time. When I mentioned something about a book I’m currently reading, my friend says, “Oh, I WISH I had time to READ,” in the same wistful tone someone may say, “Oh, I WISH I had a million-dollar beach house.”

I mean, to me, this is a simple pleasure. I don’t speed read; sometimes, it takes me a while to finish a book. But knowing that I can take 15 minutes out of my day to read a chapter or two gives me something to look forward to. It’s self-care. You can imagine what my friend may have said she couldn’t take the time to dust off the books on her shelf and crack one open. “Well, for one, she apparently should dust!” you may be thinking. While that was supposed to be a metaphor, yeah, that’s something I can imagine being one excuse. 

What she said wasn’t that different: “I look around and see so many other things I SHOULD be doing…dishes, organizing the boxes still unpacked from my move, helping out my business partners, etc. …”

I get it. Our lives are filled with responsibility and obligations. We are pulled in multiple directions (I REALLY get it as a fairly new yoga instructor finding her footing, driving to multiple locations to teach daily.).  But what would it feel like to analyze the SHOULD you are defining your time and energy with?

• As you are reaching for that book,
• or looking at that bathtub knowing how comforting a bubble bath would feel,
• or thinking about taking a “stupid walk for your stupid mental health” (as the Tik-Tok trend says—I don’t think any of that is stupid),
• or anything else that would bring some joy to your day…

REALLY think… Would spending one hour on yourself REALLY cause your entire world to crumble?

“But if I don’t do it, it won’t get done—” Maybe. But does it have to get done right now? Again, maybe, but does that mean you can’t make time for your Self -Care and stick to it in the same way—and give it the same importance—as your other obligations?

The next time you are talking yourself out of doing something that you think of as “Just for You,” allow yourself to look at the situation objectively before immediately dismissing the idea. This is the pause that we practice in yoga and mindfulness that allows us to learn how to recognize thoughts and behaviors that may have been developed in an unhealthy way. And we learn to react mindfully.

I’ll have a few more next time. Until then, feel free to share what kind of self-care things you would like to allow more time for in my Facebook VIP Group. Maybe someone in the community could offer something that will click for you!